7.12: He Said She Said Game [Results]

[chacusha]

7.12: He Said She Said Game [Results]

Last batch of stories by Breyzy, kuro_pantsu, Yin, lady_nova, and mako_lies. Note: one story had two male characters. I figured that was fine; I just changed the pronouns to match.

Story 1

Shantotto

Bartz

She thought: "If I don't get back home soon, Cloud is going to be in a slump!"

He thought: Where am I?

She said: DON'T STEP ON MEEEEEE

He said: "...Seriously."

She: Wrote horribly lurid gay romance novels about [Bartz] out of spite.

He: Decided it was best to stay as White Mage after all to cast Cure.

A rather amusing chase scene ensued

Curing might help with Black Magic spells, but how is he going to recover his reputation? You shouldn't have stepped on Shantotto, Bartz.


Story 2

Sephiroth

Ingus.

Sephiroth thought: Something is wrong here

Ingus thought: And, as ever, I am left to do the dirty work.

Sephiroth said: "Enough of this constant dilly-dallying! It is time for us to see if this was worth all of the waiting!"

Ingus said: HOLY HEDGEHOG PIES, CHANGE YOUR HAIRSTYLE AND YOU LOOK JUST LIKE ME! ONLY MORE BUTCH!

Sephiroth: Dolphin Kicked the nearest enemy.

Ingus: Attempted to steal [his] gil anyway

The end credits rolled, followed by: To Be Continued, and then some ominous music played.

Sephiroth is clearly channeling Tifa. Something is wrong here, indeed.


Story 3

Tifa.

Vaan

She thought: Oh, god. I wish he had bathed, first.

He thought: "...My game is taking forever."

She said: My mother doesn't approve of me talking to young men with big swords but I showed her, I went and had a whole fight for the planet with them just to show how independent I am! She grounded me for six weeks.

He said: "Should we switch jobs first?"

She: Punched him for prophylaxis

He: Skipped across the flowers.

[Tifa] defeated her enemies (and most of her friends in the crossfire). The End.

Vaan... are you okay?


Story 4

Tifa

Tseng

She thought: "We'll just have to wait and see, but I don't think he stands a chance facing me."

He thought: For all their fashion flaws, these geomancer pants sure are comfy.

She said: "Time to get to work!"

He said: Do you happen to have an airship

She: Attacked, while his guard was down.

He: Backed away slowly.

Eventually they realized their true feelings for each other and confessed at the very end, right when a grave threat was posed to destroy them. By some miracle they survived with their hair completely fabulous.

Tifa seems pretty dedicated to taking him down. Tseng seems to be easily distracted. (And now we know why everyone is acting like Tifa.)


Story 5

Aeris

Noctis

She thought: Why is it the guys in heavy make-up never seem to be trustworthy?

He thought: "I wonder where Princess Sara is?"

She said: My eyes are up here

He said: I will one day rule all of this cheese tower!

She: Laughed maniacally, "O-hohohohohoho!"

He: Decided to give it all up and dedicate his time and energy to chocobo breeding instead.

They ended up winning the underground tag team street fighting tournament they'd somehow got involved in.

I guess Noct decided his cheese tower dream was a bit silly after Aeris laughed so maniacally at it...?



THIEF: 30 points
kuro_pantsu: 20 points
lady_nova: 10 points

WARRIOR: 30 points
breyzyyin (Breyzy): 30 points

WHITE MAGE: 60 points
breyzyyin (Yin): 30 points
mako_lies: 30 points

NEUTRAL → THIEF*: 30 points
chacusha: 20 points
lightofeilia: 10 points

* Points have been donated to the current last place team.